Joe Lycett has ripped into Home Secretary Suella Braverman after she said “simply being gay” or a woman should not be enough to grant someone asylum status.
Last week, Braverman gave a speech in the US where she questioned whether the UN Refugee Convention was fit for purpose, arguing the laws had shifted to “lower the threshold” for asylum.
“Let me be clear, there are vast swathes of the world where it is extremely difficult to be gay, or to be a woman,” Braverman said. “Where individuals are being persecuted, it is right that we offer sanctuary.
“But we will not be able to sustain an asylum system if in effect, simply being gay, or a woman, or fearful of discrimination in your country of origin is sufficient to qualify for protection.”
She later doubled down on the comments in an interview with Robert Peston, claiming there were “many instances” of asylum seekers pretending to be gay in order to “game the system”. According to Home Office statistics, only 1 per cent of asylum claims were made based on sexual orientation in 2021.
“People purport to be gay when they’re not actually gay”
Home Secretary @SuellaBraverman accuses asylum seekers of lying about their sexuality to gain refugee status in the UK
Full interview with @AnushkaAsthana tonight ⬇️
— Peston (@itvpeston) September 27, 2023
Following her comments, Lycett has penned an open letter on X (fka Twitter), where he jokingly offered to help “eradicate all those fake-sausage noshers”.
“I too am disgusted by men pretending to be gay and think we should weed out this scourge from society,” Lycett wrote in the letter. “I know for example that Alan Carr is actually married to a foul woman called Sandra, and that Rylan does triathlons.
“Like you, I believe in bold and radical change, and also that sometimes you just have to stamp on a dog. I have devised a plan that will eradicate all those fake sausage-noshers and massively reduce successful asylum applicants. All immigrants will be excluded from the United Kingdom UNLESS they can prove that they are gay (to me). With my newly registered company Homo Hunters, I will spearhead this project to reduce the bombardment of immigrants and enmesh our island with foreign homosexuals.”
Lycett goes on to propose his “full ass-essment criteria”, which involves applicants being escorted into a room containing three items: a Lady Gaga CD, a “fleece from M&S Blue Harbour” and “a naked twink called Carlos (or Steve)”.
— Joe Lycett (@joelycett) October 4, 2023
“If the applicant tries to have sex with any of these things, they will be determined gay and warmly welcomed into the country,” the comedian writes. “If they attempt to wear the M&S Blue Harbour fleece, mention crypto, VPNs or MMA, they will be inhumanely destroyed.”
Closing the letter, Lycett adds: “Naysayers might froth that as the child of immigrants it seems strange that you would want to clamp down so ferociously on immigration, but I disagree with those woke likely-nonces: just because you or your family have benefited from a system doesn’t mean that system should not be smashed to bits.
“For example I am vehemently against people pretending to be gay simply to achieve a better life, despite that being exactly what I did to progress in showbusiness. I look forward to hearing from you GURRRRRL.”
Last week, Elton John was among those to criticise Braverman’s comments, accusing her of “legitimising hate and violence”.